You’ve been dating this guy for a few weeks, and—SCORE—he finally made it official! And, more importantly, you’re finally Facebook friends. But don’t get too excited—this doesn’t mean you can give social media etiquette the shaft. I’ve seen it happen far too many times: A girlfriend becomes intoxicated by her newfound Facebook relationships, and one month in, she’s posting her deepest feelings all over her new beaus’ wall. Not only is it beyond cringe-worthy to see (really, I don’t need or care to know every course of your romantic Valentine’s Day dinner), but it’s also doing her a disservice. Most of my friends are wise enough not to be that obsessive, over-eager girl when it comes to calling, texting and clinging—at least in the early stages of the relationship—yet when it comes to Facebook, that goes completely out the window, and they end up being that girl anyway. Before you let loose on his wall and end up the same, read below on seven things not to do or post when it comes to his digital world.
1. Write “Miss you,” “Love you,” or any overly sentimental catchphrases.
You just might miss or love him—but there’s no need to share it on Facebook, unless you’re trying to somehow make other people jealous of your relationship (in which case, that still isn’t the best method – honestly). Putting your lovey-dovey feelings on his Facebook wall for all to see is just, well, cheesy. (And his buddies will absolutely think so, too).
2. Post a whole album of just the two of you in yawn-worthy circumstances.
We get it: You’re in a happy relationship. And posting photos of you and your boyfriend is more than okay; you just have to draw the line somewhere. Went on an awesome, exotic vacay? Sure, share the album – chances are, there are some cool pics we’d all click through. But spent a weekend cuddled up on the couch, eating takeout Chinese and taking adorable self portraits? Keep them to yourself. Post them all, and you’ll be sure to embarrass your man—and yourself.
3. Immediately connect with him on LinkedIn, follow him on Twitter, FourSquare and Instagram, and add him on Klout.
So, he granted you access to his Facebook page and you recently decided to be exlcusive. And you just happened to notice he’s also on LinkedIn, Twitter, FourSquare, Instagram and Klout. But don’t go connecting with him on all of those just yet. Treat your mutual social networks as you would your texts: You probably didn’t send him 10 texts in a row when you first exchanged numbers at risk of coming off, well, desperate; so don’t go “adding” him all over the Internet right away, either.
4. Write “Thanks for last night/weekend,” followed by any emoticon, especially a wink.
Again, this falls under: Things the whole internet doesn’t need to know. So you had a great weekend with your boyfriend – maybe he even took you on a surprise romantic trip to the Poconos. Share the details with your girlfriends, not your guy’s wall. The second you post some cheesy message about it on Facebook, the night/weekend in question becomes less special, and more generic.
5. Add all of his female friends to your network.
Gradually, as you get to know your new man’s friends, you’ll likely connect with them on Facebook as well. So there’s no need to go on an adding spree right when you start dating—especially not with his female friends. While each situation is unique, unless you’ve met and interacted with his girl friends, it’s best to hold off on adding them. If he notices you’re singling out all the girl friends, he may also suspect jealousy problems – something you don’t want to deal with early on. Just play it cool – let the Facebook friendships happen when they happen.
6. Make date night plans.
You just discovered this amazing new, romantic restaurant on Yelp – perfect for date night. What to do: Call, text or talk to your boyfriend about going there this weekend. What not to do: Write on his wall about going there this weekend. Facebook is not meant for mundane conversations with people you see or talk to on a regular basis anyway. So don’t make a habit of communicating with your guy on social networks. After all, youdon’t want to get so used to it that you can’t carry on a simple conversation with him in the real world, do you?
7. Share his personal and somewhat embarrassing stories.
It’s always exciting when you reach the point in your relationship where your boyfriend starts seeing you as a confidante, revealing, perhaps, some of his biggest fears, most embarrassing stories or guiltiest pleasures. It’s a big step forward—so don’t go take a bigger one back by betraying his trust and writing about those personal truths on his (or your) profile. Unless he explicitly tells you he’s okay with it (seriously, I once got permission to post a 4th grade picture of my boyfriend on Facebook—and it was hilarious), it’s just not worth it.