“My girl is very sensitive and I find it very offensive when these rough strays start sniffing around her,” says Chi Sun, a Taiwanese dog owner who is thrilled about doggiepants, the undies that protect a pooch’s purity.
Canine fashion designer Zhang Daxing invented chastity pants for dogs so owners would no longer have to worry about their bitches, especially the girls of a certain pedigree who don’t mix with riff raff if ya know what I mean, getting knocked up during walks. “It is very upsetting for owners to find their dogs being attacked in the streets. These pants now make it impossible for them to be assaulted,” Daxing explained.
Doggiepants sell for about $40 and allow lady dogs to do poo poo or pee pee without showing off the goods to horny, uncurbed males.
I’m sorry. I can’t keep pretending to take myself seriously while writing this. I was trying, but I cracked. I’m not a dog owner, but are chastity panties really necessary? Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for a dog in any sort of clothing (I saw one wearing sneakers the other day!), so aesthetically I’m really enjoying the idea of dog panties, but functionally, I’m not so sure. Female dog owners who don’t have their ladies fixed, is there really a clear and present danger of dogs getting impregnated while out for a walk? If so, I take back what I said. And I fully endorse doggiepants. What the hell? I endorse them anyway because I endorse all things ridiculous. [Daily Mail UK]