An Imagined Conversation Between Mistresses Paula Broadwell And Rielle Hunter

You want to hear something absolutely weird? It turns out that Rielle Hunter — the woman who had an affair with John Edwards, had a child with him, and then wrote a book about it — lives just down the street from Paula Broadwell, the David Petraeus biographer who had an affair with the CIA director that ultimately led to his resignation from the organization. Both women live in the small enclave of Dilworth, a neighborhood in Charlotte, North Carolina. And it’s plausible — though not proven — that the two women could have met at some point.

So we decided to imagine what a conversation between the pair might be like…

Paula: Hey Rielle.

Rielle: Heeeeeey Paula.

Paula: Look, I just want you to know, I am really sorry about all the media people who’ve been swarming our little neighborhood. I just can’t believe that my little ol’ affair would be such a big deal.

Rielle: Oh, I know exactly what you mean. It’s like, get a life people. It’s just sex with a senator. Or maybe that’s just me.

Paula: No, no, my feelings exactly. I mean, just because I had an affair with the head of the CIA … it’s not like it was a major security breach.

Rielle: Well…

Paula: You know, you and I are so much alike! We both love living in Dilworth, we’re both strong women.

Rielle: We both wrote books…

Paula: Although … to be fair, my book was about the director of the CIA, and your book was about your affair with John Edwards.

Rielle: Well, actually, as I see it Pauls — can I call you that? — we both wrote books about our affairs. I mean, you named your book All In. If that isn’t sexual innuendo, I don’t know what is.

Paula: Rielle, you have a dirty mind.

Rielle: How do you think I ended up here, anyway?

Paula: Touché.