Well, our long national nightmare known as ELECTION SEASON is almost over. Later tonight, we will (probably) know who will be the President of the United States for the next four years. Will Barack Obama secure himself another term? Or will Mitt Romney succeed in getting me to move to Mexico? In addition to updating this post with relevant news as the returns come in, I’ll be sitting on my couch, bottle of cheap champagne in hand, livetweeting the whole nerve-racking debacle. You can follow me on Twitter at @xoamelia – where more of my bleeding heart liberal spewing will occur — and also @TheFrisky. Play our Election Night Drinking Game with me! It’ll be fun.
7:15 p.m. EST: MSNBC has called Indiana and Kentucky for Mitt Romney and Vermont for Barack Obama. Virginia, one of the most closely watched battleground states, is too close to call. (Drink!)
7:30 p.m. EST: NBC News is calling Romney as the winner of West Virginia and South Carolina. North Carolina and Ohio are still too close to call. (Oh lord, just keep drinking you guys.)
7:37 p.m. EST: That hottie Chris Hayes from MSNBC (drink!) just tweeted that in Ohio (a major battleground state) “white working class exit numbers look really bad for Romney.”
7:53 p.m. EST: Let’s play Marry Fuck Kill: MSNBC Pundit Edition! Your choices: Chuck Todd, Chris Matthews, and Al Sharpton!
7:56 p.m. EST: Not surprisingly, NBC News has called Georgia for Romney.
8:00 p,m. EST: Florida and New Hampshire are too close to call. According to CNN, Obama is projected to win Maine, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, Maryland, and the District Of Columbia. Romney is the projected winner of Alabama, Mississippi, Oklahoma and Tennessee. Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Missouri are too early to call.
8:19 p.m. EST: According to NBCNews exit poll data, Obama is doing better with white working class voters in Ohio.
8:31 p.m. EST: Romney continues to carry a number of Southern states, as expected, and is the projected winner of Arkansas.
And in deeply upsetting voter disenfranchisement news! Two voting machines in Pennsylvania — so far! — have reportedly prevented voters for casting their votes for Obama.
9:00 p.m. EST: A whole mess of new poll closings. Right now, Wisconsin, Minnesota and Arizona are too early to call. Colorado is too close to call. Mitt Romney is the projected winner of Texas, Louisiana, Kansas, Nebraska (4 or 5 electoral votes), North Dakota, South Dakota, and Wyoming. President Obama is the projected winner of New York, New Mexico, and Michigan.
9:07 p.m. EST: And President Obama is the projected winner of New Jersey.
News outlets are projecting that the GOP will retain control of the House of Representatives.
9:15 p.m. EST : MSNBC has called Pennsylvania for President Obama.
9:29 p.m. EST: President Obama is the projected winner of Wisconsin.
9:50 p.m. EST: President Obama is the projected winner of New Hampshire.
10:00 p.m. EST: More poll closings. Iowa and Nevada are too early to call. Romney is the projected winner of Utah and Montana. The candidates are currently tied in electoral votes.
10:09 p.m. EST: On another note, both Todd “Women Can’t Get Pregnant From Rape” Akin and Richard “Pregnancy From Rape Is A Blessing” Mourdock have both lost their respective races.
10;34 p.m. EST: MSNBC says Mitt Romney is the projected winner of Arizona.
10:44 p.m. EST: Obama is the projected winner of Minnesota. Mitt Romney is the projected winner of Missouri.
11:00 p.m. EST: Obama is the projected winner of California, Hawaii, and Washington. Romney is the projected winner of Idaho and Montana. Oregon is too early to call. CNN is projecting that the battleground state of North Carolina will go to Mitt Romney.
11:09 p.m. EST: Obama is the projected winner of Iowa.
11:14 p.m. EST: MSNBC has called Ohio for President Obama and thus the Presidency of the United States for another four years. He has also won Oregon.