Everything I loved about Ricki Lake in the ’80s and ’90s is still present and accounted for in the updated version of her talk show. Drag queens, eye rolling audience members and her uncanny ability to ask uncomfortable questions. Like, for instance, if you’re an openly gay man married to a woman, are the two of you having sex? And is it good?
According to Josh and Lolly Weed, the mormon couple who appeared on the recent “When Gay People Lead Straight Lives” episode, their sex life is active and fulfilling. You might have read Josh’s fascinating blog post “In which I come out of the closet on our ten year anniversary,” which was making the rounds on the internet this summer. It’s certainly worth a read. He goes into much more detail about his marriage.
As the couple admits, it’s complicated. Josh loves Lolly in an “intimate and personal kind of way.” This is all very philosophical, of course, and provides no concrete answers for us as to how they make their sex life happen. I guess it’s none of our business how anyone makes their sex life happen, really. But since they are putting themselves out there on TV, I will weigh in: I believe that they are having sex, but find it hard to believe that their sex life is fulfilling … at least for Josh.
Based on some stories I’ve heard first hand, I know that marriages where one partner discovers he or she is homosexual are quite common. I think the difference is that typically, when a person in a heterosexual marriage comes out as homosexual, they choose to leave the marriage. I also think people make less of a fuss about it when the female spouse is the gay one because experts agree that female sexuality is more fluid. Maybe male sexuality is more fluid than we think. Or maybe Josh and Lolly are knee-deep in the Mormon church … and denial.