Phaedra Parks Is Now Available For Pet Funerals

“The Real Housewives of Atlanta” is back, minus Sheree Whitfield and Marlo Hampton, plus Kenya Moore and Porsha Willams-Stewart. Don’t try to do the math, it still equals all the drama one could ever hope for.

The teaser at the beginning is like whoa. Apollo might be cheating with one of the new girls, NeNe is dating her ex-husband Gregg, Kim is pregnant and about to be homeless, Kandi’s in lurvveee and possibly tying the knot, Cynthia is all about The Bailey Agency and Kenya is the self-appointed coochie crack police at the Bailey Agency. And Phaedra? Well, she’s focused on her business ventures as always.

Even though she was bitten by a dog back in her law school days and doesn’t even seem to like or know anything about animals, Phaedra is forging ahead with her latest entrepreneurial undertaking … pet funerals. (Get it? Undertaking? )

Phaedra wants to be the “Vera Wang of funerals,” so obviously, that means expanding her funeral director horizons to doggy bone send-offs. Oh, Phaedra.

I read something about how it’s a new trend in Taiwan to have exotic dancers perform at funerals, so I’m hoping to see Ridiculous make an appearance at a funeral this season. Maybe even at a pet funeral? Is that too much to ask? Maybe it is. Doesn’t matter. I’m all in this season regardless.