I don’t know about you, but I have such a hard time remembering which conservative politician said what ridiculously offensive thing about rape. They’re all old and white and most of them are in some state of partial baldness. They all look the same! And they all sound basically the same too, given that woman-hating bile spews from their open pie holes. Alas, they are all individual people, who hold or have held positions of power within government, and aspire to inflict their beliefs upon your life, so it behoves us to be able to keep them straight. Know thine enemies! Above, a quick overview of the most noteworthy five: Richard Mourdock (running for U.S. Senate in Indiana, current state treasurer), Iowa Congressman Steve King, Missouri Representative Todd Akin, Tom Smith (running for U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania), and and former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee.