The Drunk Girl’s Battle Cry: I Made Bad Choices Last Night

As of late, I feel as though my friends and I are in a Doors song, specifically “Riders On The Storm.” We are making the poor decision to ride into a the perfect storm of broken hearts and alcohol, combined with the fact that we’re in our mid- to late-twenties and freaking out about it. Which also means that we should know better. Yet we continue to get knocked down, and then get up again, because you ain’t ever gonna keep us down.

We need to calm our tits.

At what point does drinking too much go from cute and “woohoo, YOLO” to being sad and obnoxious? Is there a magical age? Or is it more about the person’s maturity level?

I have made some terrible decisions while drunk. When I am drunk, my brain thinks, Listen, this is a great and logical idea and will not offend anyone, trust me here, if not for me you couldn’t count or walk or survive, so just go with this shit, love you bitch! I’m not a mean or angry drunk. I’m just a loud, stupid drunk who, after a few drinks, loves Billy Joel. I haven’t done things like crashed a car, injured myself or others, had unsafe sex, ruined friendships, or gotten naked in some dude’s car.

But recently, I went too far. I almost fucked up a friendship. Again, I didn’t do it maliciously or with the intent of, “Hey, I’m going to fuck up a meaningful friendship tonight.” Drunkenness is no excuse for being a dick. In my head though, I thought I was doing the right thing and saying the right things. And I did exactly the opposite. Being drunk is like an ugly filter on Instagram: you don’t mean to ruin something, you think it’s going to be better with it, but really it’s so much better without.

I gave up drinking for a month and I honestly didn’t miss it. My friend told me, “You’re not one of those people who needs to drink to be fun. You already bring something fun and interesting to the table just being sober.” And sometimes, I believe her. But when I’m around a guy I like, my confidence goes out the window and into two martinis. This isn’t healthy. My self worth should not be based on whether or not a guy finds me attractive and I shouldn’t feel that I have to be drunk to be sexy. Because really, after a certain number of drinks, The Drunk Girl is anything but sexy.

There’s a line between drinking and having fun and drinking and fucking up. I think I found it.