Do you still have nails left? I don’t, as I bit them all down watching last night’s episodes of “Revenge,” “Dexter,” and “Homeland.” Let’s recap! (Spoilers ahead!)
“Dexter.” How long can Deb possibly keep Dexter under her watchful eye at all times? Because my patience — and Dexter’s — is already starting to wear thin. What will it take to make Deb understand that what Dexter does prevents the deaths of innocents? I know! An innocent woman dying because Deb prevented Dexter from taking out a killer before he hurt his next victim. How scary was that death metal maze of barbed wire, by the way? Worst. Nightmare. Now that Deb has seen what standing in Dexter’s way can lead to, she seems ready to give up on trying to change her brother. But she sure doesn’t seem happy about it either.
Also, can I just say that I cannot get it up for this Russian stripper/mafia storyline at all. Just cannot.
“Revenge.” The thing that drives me insane about a show like “Revenge” is that the plot can always take a turn in a completely different direction, making it impossible to predict what will happen next and how a character will react to it. This can be fun, but also exhausting because there’s rarely any satisfying payoff. Anyway, Emily is still determined to drive a wedge between Victoria and Charlotte, so she makes Amanda hand deliver David Clark’s journal (which has damning information about Victoria) to Charlotte on the day Victoria is set to give a press conference about her “kidnapping.” Conveniently, a letter is also delivered which confirms to Daniel that his mother faked her death (which everyone else in the family knows, but he doesn’t because he’s always the last to know). Now both Charlotte and Daniel are pissed — but Victoria doesn’t go down without a fight. In front of the press, she welcomes her entire family on stage including Amanda (seemingly as a peace offering to Charlotte, though you know that’s BS) to declare that the Grayson family is stronger than ever.
“Homeland.” I would say that this episode featured Nicholas Brody’s worst day ever, but we know that is not true. But it was pretty shitty day for the congressman, who was tasked by Abu Nazir’s peeps to get The Tailor (who hooked him up with the bomb vest that never went off last season) to a safehouse since the CIA apparently had intelligence on him. Basically, that whole plan — getting the Tailor to a safehouse — didn’t go very well. There was a flat tire, and then some rain, and then a chase through the woods, and then falling on a sharp object, and then having to break the Tailor’s neck because he was moaning loud when Jess called to ask why Brody was late to give a speech. Shit day, all around.
So, what about the video of Brody that Saul found? The minute he’s back in the U.S. — after he almost didn’t make it out of Lebanon with the SD card — Saul headed straight to Carrie’s house, as she deserved to see what he had first. Carrie, mind you, had earlier swallowed a handful of pills, basically just giving up on her life because Estes wouldn’t even let her be involved in the debrief of her mission. She regretted it almost immediately and threw everything up — and good thing too, because the info Saul presents her with vindicates everything she has gone through in the last year. “I was right,” she says, Claire Danes delivering her usual epic cry face, as she watches Brody explain his rationale for the attack (that never actually happened). “I was right.”
BONUS SCENE! Early on in the episode, Jess and Brody started to get it on and it was so hot, you guys. Really, this season needs more Brody sex. I know he’s a begrudging potential terrorist and all, but I find him sexy. Not gonna lie. Why did Dana have to walk in and ruin it? Brody (and the audience) was left with a case of blue balls.