Victim Blaming 101: Of course she wasn’t raped — she’s just lying! Or drunk! Or both!
Sadly, victim blaming is in full swing with the “pizza boy rapist,” a 16-year-old boy who allegedly raped a 35-year-old woman in her New York City apartment. Cesar Lucas was delivering a pizza on Saturday night on the Upper West Side and was let into the building by a doorman; after he delivered his pizza, he told police that he started turning the knobs of doors in other apartments. When he found one that was open, he entered and climbed on top of a sleeping woman while her seven-year-old child slept nearby. The victim told the Post he covered her mouth and told her to be quiet. Before he left, he apologized and stole the woman’s iPhone and $20 from a wallet.
The young man confessed to police that he raped her and sickeningly explained that he was “horny.” But now his mother is blabbing to The New York Post and suggesting the alleged victim was “drunk.” Because you know how us ladies get when we’ve been drinking: we invite random teenage pizza delivery boys into our apartments, have consensual sex while our child is sleeping on the same bed, and then give them our iPhones as a farewell gift!
The anonymous mom has a whole host of excuses. She’s claiming her son “isn’t very strong” and doesn’t believe he could force himself on a woman; he also hasn’t raped his younger sisters, the mom says, so of course that means he must be innocent in this case, too. The mother is also questioning why the woman’s seven-year-old child supposedly did not wake up during the alleged rape. She suggested that her son rang the alleged victim’s door by accident and she opened the door, presumably suggesting the woman just invited a 16-year-old pizza boy in for a midnight romp.
I suppose the mom finds it hard to believe that a woman might be paralyzed by fear while she is being sexually assaulted inside her own apartment — especially a woman with a small child nearby. But it hurts victims when we suggest there’s a “right” way to behave before, during or after a sexual assault. And it is an insult to men who aren’t rapists that this kid would try to explain his behavior by saying he was just horny. Lots of horny people don’t rape; it’s rapists who rape.
Look, I understand how the mother of an accused rapist may want to believe he’s innocent. She’s his mother. Of course she’ll have her excuses — including, as she said in the Post, that her son “confessed out of fear because [police] forced him to.”
But I believe a woman when she says she was raped. And I’ll believe a man when he says he’s a rapist.