The fourth season of “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” seemed to go on forever — and it was filmed forever ago too. The cast was actually filming this season of the show when they appeared together to film last season’s reunion show; in fact, the reason why Jacqueline Laurita skipped last season’s reunion show was because the final episode of this season had just happened. The night before the third season reunion, the whole cast had all just attended the Posche Fashion Show, during which the bomb was dropped that Melissa Gorga had allegedly been a stripper — just about everyone blamed Teresa Giudice for being behind this sordid reveal about her hated sister-in-law, while Teresa, somehow, had concluded that one-time BFF Jacqueline had actually set her up. Jacqueline had a total breakdown which is why she didn’t attend the reunion show the next day. A year later, having not seen each other since, the whole cast sat down for another reunion (got that straight?) and DUDE. Even Danielle Staub is sitting at home watching this shit, eating popcorn and being like, These bitches be crazy. The five most explosive moments — so far, as it’s a three-parter! — after the jump!
1. Jacqueline vs. Teresa. In the clip above, we get more background on what exactly went down at the Posche Fashion Show and why Jacqueline is so sure that Teresa is to blame for Melissa’s former strip club boss showing up and dropping the bomb that she used to dance. Teresa, meanwhile, is convinced (or at least wants us to think she’s convinced) that Jacqueline set her up all season.
2. Jacqueline’s son Nicholas has autism. Recently, Jacqueline revealed that she and her husband Chris’s son Nicholas has autism. In the clip above, she explains more about his diagnosis and his recent regression (he no longer says “I love you” or speaks at all). Unfortunately, even this heartbreaking segment is not without incident, as Teresa pipes up and Caroline accuses her of making it all about her again.
3. Lauren had lapband surgery and accuses Teresa of using a professional writer on her blogs. Doesn’t Lauren look great? After years of dealing with up and down weight issues and low self-esteem, Caroline’s daughter got lapband surgery and has lost 30+ pounds! This somehow leads to Teresa making fun of Caroline’s weight because Teresa doesn’t have the intellect to insult someone without resorting to low blows. But the best part of this scene? NAPALMGATE! Lauren accuses Teresa of hiring a professional writer to pen her Bravo blogs and her proof is that there is no way a dimbulb like Teresa would ever use a word like “napalm.” “Spell napalm!” Lauren and, like, everyone else yells at Teresa. “What does napalm mean? Spell it! You can’t! You can’t!” Ahhh, Napalmgate. Amazing.
4. Kathy vs. Teresa. Have you figured out by now that everyone hates Teresa? In this clip, Teresa makes some remark about how her cousin Kathy (who had a nose job, FYI) almost divorced her husband Richie. Kathy denies it and Teresa says her mother (Kathy’s aunt) told her. And Kathy then says that Teresa’s mom is “a fucking liar.” Ooooh dang. And Teresa looooooooses it. But then she strikes an even lower blow…
5. Rosie loses her shit backstage. Teresa, in retaliation for Kathy’s comment about her mom, says something about her father taking better care of Kathy than her own father. Kathy flips the fuck out, because Kathy’s dad has been dead for awhile, but Kathy’s rage is nothing compared to the reaction her sister Rosie has backstage. Rosie shared her coming out story this season and spoke of how accepting her father was of her being gay. So when Teresa made it seem like he had been lacking as a parent, well, verbal napalm erupted from Rosie’s mouth.