Marry, F**k Or Kill: “Dexter,” “Homeland” & “Revenge” Return!

Listen up friends and family members: if you’re interested in seeing me for the next few months, you’ll have to pick any other day but Sunday. See, every Sunday I have a standing date with my television to watch a trifecta of my favorite shows: the new seasons of “Dexter,” “Homeland,” and “Revenge” all premiered last night and it was basically the hottest and most exciting date night my TV and I have had in months. (No offense to one of my other favorite Sunday night shows, “Breaking Bad,” but even the most exciting episode of BB can’t be expected to trump three shows, you know?) After the jump, a key scene from each premiere episode. Spoilers abound, so proceed with caution!

KILL: “Revenge.” To be honest, the “Revenge” premiere was a little lacking in comparison to the brilliance found in the preview two episodes, but it also definitely took the edge off the stress they brought on. So many things have changed since last summer in the Hamptons! Daniel is dating Ashley! Amanda is really, really pregnant with Jack’s baby … or we think it’s Jack’s baby anyway. Charlotte is doing well in rehab! Sort of. And Victoria is dead … or is she?