Woman, High On Nightshade, Claimed She Was Captain Jack Sparrow, Tried To Hijack A Boat

I can kind of see a vague resemblance between Alison Whelan (pictured above) and Captain Jack Sparrow. Something in the eyes. This 51-year-old plead guilty to aggravated theft this week, a confession which will land her in the slammer for four months. Her crime? Oh, claiming to be Captain Jack Sparrow and hijacking a ferry boat near a harbor in Devon, England last September.

The evening of the incident, Whelan called the paramedics, claiming she was having a seizure. When they arrived on the scene, they found Whelan and her friend aboard a 45-foot passenger ferry. When paramedics tried to board the boat, the pair became agitated. Untying the ferry from its dock and setting asail, Whelan shouted, “I’m a pirate! I’m Jack Sparrow!” (At least the paramedics were not made to walk the plank.)

The ferry, which was headed for Saint-Tropez (Hey! Maybe they were on their way to meet up with Tara Reid!), didn’t get further than a mile before crashing into a number of other boats in the harbor. When apprehended, authorities found Whelan to be: A) Not Jack Sparrow, B) highly intoxicated, and C) high on nightshade, a hallucinogenic plant.

Really though, the important thing to consider here is: Will nightshade be the new bath salts? And should we brace ourselves for a pirate apocalypse? [Huffington Post]