• News

  • Sex

Man Tries To Rape Raccoon, Gets His Penis Bitten Off

Try to have sex with an animal against its will, expect a penis injury.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” said 44-year-old Russian man, Alexander Kirilov.

I spent a long time trying to understand this sentence. The thought of “having some fun” with an animal is beyond my scope of comprehension.

Anyhow, according to the Austrian Times, “having some fun” meant Kirilov was drunkenly trying to rape the raccoon while his buddies looked on.

And now I’ll have to grapple with the idea of a raccoon gang bang. PAFU (people are fucked up).

You might be able to guess what happened next. The animal was frightened and tried to defend itself by taking a big bite out of Kirilov’s penis. Rightfully so. Russian plastic surgeons believe “they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off.”

Excuse me while I lock myself in a dark room and attempt to self-soothe. [Austrian Times]

Posted Under: , , , , ,
  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular