“Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” Recap: Guess Whose Breath, But Not After Eating Sketti

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"Honey Boo Boo" Recap

Ami: I am already anticipating going into a deep depression when this season of “Here Comes Honey Boo” ends. I can feel it coming. And I can’t even bare to think of it. But we still have episodes to discuss and they are still mind-blowing, heart warming and disgusting all at once. I am going to skip the heart warming stuff where Alana and Sugar Bear go on a father/daughter outing to the skating rink and Alana sells lemonade to raise money for her next pageant (collective Awwwwwww), and get into the gizzards of the episode. Prepare yourself for smell breaths and more after the jump.

The girls take a trip to the local convenience store. And when I say local, I mean 100 feet from the Boo Boo house. Alana likes to turn backflips and try on goggles. But the Boo Boo who’s most at home there is Pumpkin. She likes to show up there “Bamm-Bamm” style as manager Donta with the flavorful grill puts it. That means she goes barefoot. Our very own Amelia likes to do everything Bamm-Bamm style. This really is her spirit family.

Amelia took over writing this recap because Ami had to go to a bris.

Amelia: The family is sitting around discussing Kaitlyn’s imminent birth from Chickadee’s “moon pie.” I’m unclear on whether there is a difference between a moon pie and a biscuit, by the way. Chickadee has just been to the doctor and had her cervix stretched and she’s three centimeters dilated now, which June attempts to illustrate with her fingers while Alana looks on. Alana is pretty sure giving birth is disgusting and I have to agree that it sure sounds that way from Mama June’s description.

The Boo Boos like to get creative with their leisure activities and have invented a game called “Guess Whose Breath?” in which one person wears a blindfold and has to guess whose breath is being blown in their face. The Boo Boos all seem to be pretty good at guessing, which makes me think they each have their own distinct “fragrance.” According to Alana, Chubbs breath smells like “A-S-S” (probably because she only brushes her teeth on special occasions) while Pumpkin’s smells like “booty boo.” Must be nuances to the top notes. I wonder whether they would be impressed with the game I used to play with my cousins as a kid. Hmm, maybe we should play “Guess Whose Breath?” at our next Frisky party. Looks like fun! Chickadee, by the way, has such a good time that she pees a little on June’s couch. June is not amused.

“Guess Whose Breath?” is probably less fun after the Boo Boos have had sketti for dinner. Sketti is June’s specialty. This dish consists of sketti (that’s spaghetti) mixed with butter and ketchup. Redneck marinara, obviously. You may be shocked to learn that June does not really enforce table manners in her house. But maybe that’s because they eat on the couch not at the table. Anyway, I’m kind of curious about what sketti tastes like, but not enough to actually buy ketchup and butter and bastardize Italian cuisine. I’ll just take the Boo Boos’ word for it that it’s delicious.

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