12 Tips For Having A Super Lifestyle Porn-y Existence

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Because I’m a jealous and petty person, I can’t stand to read lifestyle/home/craft blogs. Who are these people with endless amounts of free time, money and craft experience who seem to effortlessly turn their homes into the back page of a Martha Stewart magazine? They obviously don’t have cats. And because I’m jealous and petty, and not going to subscribe to Folk Magazine anytime soon (though they keep threatening me with a subscription), I need shortcuts to elevate me from sloth to semi-functioning, well-designed person.

Which is why we’ve collected a bunch of easy, really easy, tips to help make your house one others can be jealous of.

 

  1. Bath Products Make A Difference: Nicely packaged soap, lotion and perfume will transform your bathroom counter into a spa, dammit.
  2. Fresh Flowers: Perhaps you have a yard with some cuttable flowers? Or maybe a nearby bodega with a decent flower selection. Buying yourself flowers — and especially flowers all in one color — ties a room together. Not a flower fan? Try an herbal bouquet, like the ones made at Little Glass Slipper, using gardenias, eucalyptus, roses and poppies.
  3. Books: Splurge on a few classic hardback books for display on your bedside table. Who cares if you’ve never read them! This is about appearances not substance.
  4. Nice Coffee Accouterments: So that drinking coffee at home is more luxurious than buying it at a coffee shop.
  5. Shop the Sale Rack: Nobody has to know that wood bowl “made by local artisans” was actually purchased half off at West Elm. Stick a few veggies or fruits in it — preferably unusual ones, like purple peppers or fairy tale eggplants, which yes, exist — and you’re set.
  6. Nice Cleaning Products: Mrs. Meyer’s and Caldrea both make cleaning products with gorgeous packaging. And after they’re done, nobody has to know that you’re actually using Palmolive that you’ve squeezed into a Mrs. Meyer’s Liquid Dish Soap container.
  7. Liquor Up: A few nice bottles of liquor at home ensure that you can offer anyone you want a nightcap.
  8. Plants: They’ll cheer you up, and brighten your room. Plus, they clean the air, and other nice things. A windowsill full of plants says “I’m an adult that can keep things alive.”
  9. Vintage Dishware. Check out your local thrift store and pick out some cheap and cute vintage tea cups and plates. Nothing needs to match. The quirkier the better!
  10. Mason Jars: Everything that can go in a mason jar should go in a mason jar. Drink from ‘em, can with ‘em, store leftovers in ‘em. They’re all purpose and wonderful.
  11. Lemons: Lemons in a bowl. Lemons in your water. Lemons say, “My life is fresh and bright and citrus-y smelling! Also, I don’t have scurvy.”
  12. Candles, candles, candles: A set of matching votives, or one large, sweet-smelling candle can make all the difference in the world. Especially if you happen to have a cat that takes especially stinky poops.

What are your top tips for living a lifestyle porn existence?

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