Dear Mark Welch,
I would like to start by saying that even if no one else does, I believe you. I’ve had that happen to me before — where I woke up and the same stuff that I dreamed happened to me in real life. I was in college, around you age, when it happened. It’s was really freaky. I thought I was losing my mind. Granted, I wasn’t smoking synthetic pot before bed (I was smoking real pot) nor did I call 911 to report the incident, but I can understand why you did. I don’t think you were trying to be cute or funny. You were scared.
Oh Mark, your mistake was escaping to a neighbor’s place and calling 911 for a second time because you “had something to prove to your family.” Mark, your parents hid the phone from you for a reason. They didn’t believe you were telling the truth. And I understand that’s what fueled your behavior. I want you to know that a lot of people aren’t going to believe you when you say crap like that. You’re going to have to let it go. It’s not worth going to jail over for “misuse of the 911″ system.
Luckily, you’ve been released from the slammer. Phew. Next time your dream comes true like that, call me, Mark. I promise, I will believe every word of what you say. We can even do some dream analysis if you’re into that kind of thing. In the meantime, I recommend getting off the K2 and getting back on your meds if you want to stay out of the psych ward. Your mom says you stopped taking them.
I’m looking forward to receiving your phone call and taking it from there.