Zac Efron is going to film a new movie called “Are We Officially Dating?”, which could also be the title of a documentary about my dating life. (Pro tip: if you have to ask, the answer is usually “no.”)
That got me thinking about other dispatches from my romantic life that could be titles for movies.
- You Look Nothing Like Your OK Cupid Photo
- The Frequency With Which You IM Me At Work Makes Me Think You Don’t Work Very Hard
- There’s No Way In Hell I Can Afford That Restaurant So You Had Better Be Treating
- You’ve Been Divorced For How Long?
- We Both Know We’re Not Going Back To My House For A Glass Of Wine
- Be A Gentleman And Ignore My Teddy Bear
- Do You Usually Sweat This Much In Bed? Is It A Health Thing?
- Actually I Don’t Like It When You Bite Me There
- You Pulled Out In Time, Right?
- I Think I Have The Morning After Pill In A Drawer Somewhere
- That Girl “Jenny” Who Just Texted You Is Your Sister, Right?
You are welcome, Hollywood.