I suspect National Go Topless Day on August 26 will be celebrated the usual way people celebrate things like National Go Topless Day, which is that the only people who will go topless will be those you would rather keep their shirts on. But if you live in Washington, DC., Seattle, Miami, Columbus, Asheville, Honolulu, Chicago, or other cities hosting an event, it’s time to keep a bottle of bleach handy for your eyes because there’s a National Go Topless Day rally coming to your city. (The official website helpfully shows you locations via a BoobMap with icons of boobies serving as pins. Seriously.)
Naturally, Go Topless Day will coincide with Women’s Equality Day, as the biggest problem facing women in this day and age is going topless in public. And make sure to sign this very serious and important petition to President Obama about the issue. It only has 519 signatures. However could that be?
I apologize for being cheeky about this topic — I obviously do believe America should be more liberal about women’s bodies in public, like Europeans — but I have a hard time disassociating Go Topless Day from its founders, the Raelians. Seriously, read up. You will need this information when the aliens come. [GoTopless.org]