What do you do if you’re an advice columnist who gets a letter from a young woman with questions about her crush on the twins sisters who make up the band Tegan & Sara? If you’re Dan Savage, you go right to the source and ask Tegan to answer the question for you. A woman wrote to the sex advice columnist saying:
I’ve been confused about my sexuality for two years. I am a 22-year-old female. I liked guys when I was in school, but then, in perhaps the most stereotypical of fashions, I developed a HUGE crush on Tegan and Sara when I was nearly 20…
Does that make me gay, she wondered?
Savage enlisted out-lesbian and Tegan & Sara band member Tegan Quinn to answer, who responded by revealing that she used like boys, too — until she kissed a girl.
“I’d gone most of my teens crushing on guys like Jared Leto, thinking that must make me straight,” says Tegan. “Even though secretly I was dreaming of make-outs with Claire Danes. I thought my crush on Jared Leto vetoed my secret girl crush on Claire Danes. Maybe that was society weighing down on me. Perhaps it was peer pressure keeping me inside the lines of heterosexuality. Or, likely, I just liked them both.”
“Sexuality is not hard lines, it’s not black and white. Not for all of us, anyway. Some people know their whole lives who they are. Some people don’t. My advice: Go and kiss a girl, go and hold a boy’s hand. Don’t worry about who you are until you find out what you like. Maybe you’ll like both—and yay if that’s the way it turns out, because that means you have twice as many people to fall in love with.”
Well put! To read the entirety of her response, go here. And tell us: Have you ever had a surprising or unexpected crush on someone?