25 Types Of Olympic Athletes And The Reasons To Have Sex With Them

So here we are, approaching the end of the 2012 Summer Olympics. What a wild ride it’s been, eh? From the Queen parachuting out of a helicopter, to Jordyn Wieber’s heartbreak, to Ryan Lochte’s tacky grill, perfect bod, and one-night stands.

I have a rough time when any big sporting event rolls around, and that’s because a) I’m utterly uninterested in sports, and b) I’m utterly addicted to TV. This means that, if there is a big sporting event being aired, I feel compelled to watch for the sole purpose of having something to do. And this, in turn, means I have to come up with some way to make it interesting.

What I did for the 2012 Summer Olympics, is watch with a keen eye for the physiques and unique talents of the various athletes. And I imagined having sex with them. Wait! No. It was more specific than that, really. I imagined the before, during, and after of having sex with them, with a focus on the special gift each individual athlete would bring to the experience. Click through for a compilation of my observations.Sara Barron is the author of People Are Unappealing and the forthcoming book Eating While Peeing (And Other Adventures) For more info, visit her website.

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