6 Pressing Questions I Have About The Honey Boo Boos

I’ve  seen every incarnation of the “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” trailer, as I’m eagerly awaiting the forthcoming TLC show (premiering tomorrow night!), which features Alana from “Toddlers & Tiaras” and her clan. I’ve accepted her family’s nicknames (Sugar Bear’s not such a bad thing to be called), pondered the purpose of tummy jiggling (it’s fun!) and tried to understand how mud pit diving works (kind of like swimming?).  But now that the extended one minute and three second trailer for the show is out, I have some serious questions about the Boo Boos (whatever the family’s real last name is, I am choosing to refer to them as the Boo Boos). Please help me understand the following:

1. Why does June refer to Sugar Bear as her “baby daddy” and not her husband? Are they not married? Or does she just think “baby daddy” is more fun?

2. And speaking of “baby daddy,” how did 17-year-old Chickadee get to be the “pregnantist”? Who knocked her up? And is there any chance that she and June will make an appearance on that other new TLC show, “I’m Pregnant And So Is My Teenage Daughter?” That could be really fun.

3. Do the Boo Boos normally drink out of baby bottles or is that a baby shower for Chickadee or June … or both of them?

4. I recognize the homemade slip n’ slide, and the mud pit diving, but what outdoor game is played with a roll of toilet paper? With a garbage can on your head? I don’t know these games, but I am interested in learning them.

5. How many matching outfits do Chubbs and Alana have and will they be wearing them often? I certainly hope so.

6. Is their pet pig an indoor or an outdoor pig?

If you have answers to any of my pressing questions, or have inquiries of your own, please add them in the comments. I’d like to have as much as I can figured out before I watch the show tomorrow night. I appreciate your help.