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Big tits and August don’t mix. In this hot hot heat, sweating bullets could kill your good looks, no thanks to gross breast sweat. I once had a dude dip a finger in my cleavage on a 100-degree day only to retract his hand in horror. Oh strapless bra, you sold me down a river, literally! But since then, I’ve learned to beat the heat and you can too. So, don’t let your melons become watermelons this summer. Save yourself with these tips…

1. Wear Black: The sweat just blends into the darkness. As for white, well, you know what happens to it when it gets wet.

2. Fabric Of Our Lives: Sure, cotton is the most breathable, but a good thin polyester vintage dress will never ever show sweat. But if you’re not brave enough to look like you just walked off the set of “Three’s Company,” that’s a-OK. Just be sure to avoid silk, satin, and other materials that soak it all in and leave a ring when they dry.

3. Loose Girls: Don’t wear skin-tight spandex stuff. Easier said than done if you’re a showy slut bag like me. But, if you stick to no-cling, flowy tops, the material won’t get stuck to your skin.

4. Cut And Print: In addition to going a little boho in the cut, you should also pick a bold, colorful print. Boob sweat just blends into a nice, bright, rainbow, large-sized floral, for example.

5. Stand Up: Boob sweat is bad enough when it’s on your chest, but if you slouch, girl, well, it’ll slip down your stomach making a bad situation worse. So, pretend you’re back in ballet class and keep your posture ladylike.

6. Padded Bra: A thick bra has got built-in sponges, but they’re hard to wear if you’re walking around with a pair of watermelons strapped to your bust. So, keep reading!

7. Hanky Panky: Stuff your bra like you’re a tween all over again. Except this time, instead of rounding them out, roll/fold them under your booby flap. Simply tuck the tissue under your titty and slip it out when you get into the air conditioning. The hanky will absorb the problem without creating an embarrassing one. Well, that is the tissue should go completely unnoticed, unlike the time one popped out at the school dance.

8. Powder Your Nose Boobs: Oddly enough, baby powder can really do the trick in a sticky situation. Plus, it feels nice and smells yummy. Be careful not to overdo it, or it’ll get clumpy. Gross … clumpy so should have made our list of the 36 Words You Should Never Say In Bed.

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