Olympic Badminton Players And 12 Other People We’d Like To Charge With “Not Trying”
As you may have heard, eight Olympic badminton players were recently disqualified from the women’s doubles competition for “not using one’s best efforts to win.” Apparently the real issue is that they were throwing matches to manipulate the tournament match-ups, but when I first read the headlines, I have to admit I was totally taken with the idea of being able to charge someone with the formal offense of “not trying.” I asked the rest of The Frisky staff who else we’d like to put on blast for “not using their best efforts.” Check out our list of underachievers after the jump, and feel free to add your own in the comments!
2. Whoever invented those “salads” that are just a giant uncut piece of lettuce on a plate.
3. NBC with their Olympics coverage — they have a monopoly on the games but have been shitty in their coverage, made it impossible for anyone without a TV subscription to watch, and have spoiled the results.
4. Any songwriter who rhymes a word with the same exact word.
5. Adam Sandler, just in general.
6. People who let their pedicures get disgusting and grown out and then wear sandals.
7. Julia Allison, for managing to fuck up a fake job.
8. Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders. Pro tip: if you’re a world famous celebrity trying to keep your affair a secret, don’t dry hump against a fence in public.
9. Parents who let their kids cry and cry at a restaurant without taking them outside.
10. Anyone who wears pajama bottoms in public (and does not have the flu).
11. Guys who go down on you for like 2 minutes and want a medal of bravery.
12. The Kardashians.
13. People who buy pre-belted jeans.
14. Ninety percent of the guys who message us on OK Cupid. Come on, an emoticon?
15. Queen Elizabeth at the opening ceremonies (although we’d also give her the “Most Entertaining Apathy” award).
Alright, now it’s your turn! Who would you like to charge with “not trying”?