Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Wants A Hawk At His 30th Birthday Party

I saw this Craigslist ad looking for a falconer to bring “an aggressive flying killing machine” to a 30th birthday posted on Facebook. I’m not sure if it’s for a party held by my old colleague who posted it on Facebook, or someone else, but it doesn’t matter: I want this Craigslist author to be my boyfriend. You know why? He knows what he wants. He wants someone with a “badass bird of prey, a “cool leather bird glove” and a “tiny bird helmet that the bird wears.” So few people know what they want in the world but this man is decisive.

And also, he will “understand if you weren’t comfortable letting a stranger hold an aggressive flying killing machine in my apartment.” But he hopes you are. This means he is flexible. That is also a quality we see too little of these days.

This sounds like it is going to be a bitchin’ party. I hope all his 30th birthday dreams come true. Find me, Falcon Boy. Seek me out! I’ll bring the dead mice. [Craigslist]