I just read Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte, and it had zero sex. I mean zero. But an adult fiction company, Clandestine Classics, is republishing books like Eyre, Pride And Prejudice and Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea with sexy rewrites. Hey, if Pride can get rewritten with zombies, I don’t see why Jane Eyre can’t get written with Mr. Rochester as a cunning linguist. [ONTD]
New couple alert! Emma Roberts is dating Evan Peters, who played the creepy gimp suit boyfriend/ghost on “American Horror Story.” [US Weekly]
Casper Smart, J.Lo’s 25-year-old backup dancer boyfriend, says Jennifer is “the boss” of their relationship. Uh, we knew that already. [PopCrush]
Kathie Lee Gifford and her big mouth strike again: this time KLG said that young kids don’t know Aretha Franklin, who expressed interest in being an “American Idol” judge, and the show should appeal to someone with a younger demographic. [Uptown Magazine]
I love this Pomplamoose mashup of “Call Me Maybe” and “Somebody That I Used To Know” more than my mother. [The FW]
“Gossip Girl” is filming again and it’s getting a new cast addition: Barry Watson, who played the eldest brother Matt on “7th Heaven.” Whoa, total ’90s flashback right there. [Socialite Life]
Charlie Sheen says he’s “genuinely interested” in being an “American Idol” judge. If they hire him I will genuinely be interested in burying my head in the ground like an ostrich the entire season. [Celebrity Cafe]
What does it mean when you dream you have a penis — and you’ve biologically been born a woman? [Em & Lo]
IKEA is brewing its own beer called Ol Mork Lager in the UK. [Ad Week]
Ever wondered what Rider Strong from “Boy Meets World” has been up to? Okay, me neither, but anyway, he’s in this sketch comedy bit and seriously has not changed a bit since I crushed on him hardcore in the ’90s. [BuzzFeed]
Contact the author of this post at Jessica@TheFrisky.com. Follow me on Twitter and Tumblr.
Kanye was thisclose to getting a face tattoo early this morning in London when Kim managed to intercept. Instead, he got his late mother's and North's birth dates tattooed on his wrists in Roman numerals. [Page Six] The dancing baby from "Ally McBeal" is now a terrifying digital dancing grown-up. [NYMag.com]…
Lupita Nyong'o's $150,000 pearl-covered Calvin Klein Academy Awards dress was stolen from her West Hollywood hotel yesterday. Hmm, Amelia has been missing from her office for the last few hours... [ABC News] Can we please not have a Spongebob Broadway musical? [Broadway.com] Raven-Symoné will guest star on "Black-ish" as Dre's gay sister.
Hey! Guess what! You know Mark McGrath, that dude from Sugar Ray and also "Entertainment Tonight"? He is not dead! I mean. I didn't know anyone thought he was dead, because I don't really keep up on all the latest Mark McGrath news, but OK. Apparently, someone sent out a…
To celebrate the anniversary of her "Let's Move" health and fitness campaign, Michelle Obama has asked social media users to partake in her #GimmeFive challenge by sharing five tips for being healthy. Beyonce took this as an opportunity to grace us peasants with a peek into her fitness routine, which involves crunches, some kind of kickboxing situation,…