“Caviar Is The New Black” And Other Color Names For Rich People

This weekend my friend Molly and I went to the fabric store and picked out a piece of gorgeous black fabric with pink polka dots. “You know,” said the woman at the counter, “we’re not supposed to call this color ‘black’ anymore. ‘Caviar’ is the new black.” Molly and I were stunned by this new development, and it got me wondering about other blase color names that could be replaced with elite artifacts from the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Check out my suggestions after the jump, and please share your own ideas in the comments!

“Penthouse Suite Infinity Pool” is the new blue.

“Master Cleanse” is the new yellow.

“Birkin Bag” is the new red.

“St. Barths Sunset” is the new orange.

“Gulfstream Jet Fuel” is the new brown.

“Wagyu Beef” is the new pink.

“Cle de Peau Moisturizer” is the new white.

“Foie Gras” is the new gray.

“Offshore Bank Account” is the new green.