God bless you, Lifetime. You’re all up there in the baser instincts of my lady lizard brain while simultaneously tugging at my ovaries. Where do you come up with these ideas? Granted, “Prom Queens,” your new reality show debuting August 14, sounds like Bravo’s “Real Housewives” franchise repackaged with higher metabolisms and less expensive lip gloss. But I’m sure you’ll put your special Lifetime spin on it.
“Prom Queens” will follow young women from eight different high schools across the country as they compete for the meaningless title Prom Queen at the senior prom. The show will document “will document the great social, financial and emotional lengths some girls go each spring,” which is a fancy way for saying it’ll be just a long drawn-out version of how Cady sabotages the Plastics in “Mean Girls.” Eight episodes sounds like just enough to permanently scare me from high school yet again. And it’s on after “Dance Moms,” so I won’t even have to move my butt from the couch.