“Slightly Used Soul” Is The Saddest Ebay Auction Ever

I believe I have discovered the saddest eBay auction ever. Albuquerque woman, Lori N., was auctioning off her “slightly used soul” for $2,000. Formerly a freelance writer, Lori’s life changed completely after being hit by a drunk driver five years ago. She was in a coma, and suffered a stroke, many broken bones, a collapsed lung and lost one of her breasts. She figured since her body was shot, she might as well market her soul. For bidders on Lori’s soul, she wanted to make it clear that what she would deliver is the “opportunity to save [her] soul.” Along with the purchase will come a “certificate detailing the white and black marks on [her] soul.” A spiritual car facts of sorts. But what she’s truly hoping for from this auction is not money, but the chance to make contact with someone else’s soul.

Ack. Heart wrenching. As of yesterday, no one had bid on her soul. So I logged onto eBay to give a sympathy bid — I can’t afford the $2,000 asking price — but couldn’t find Lori’s soul. Maybe someone bought it? Or she decided not to sell after all? Lori, if you’re reading this, I am here if you want to make contact with my soul, which is also slightly used. I’m sorry for all you’ve suffered. [Oddity Central]