Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Used Farts As A Weapon

It’s not often that I’m impressed by a man’s physical abilities. But Guy Who Farted So Loud Your Neighbor Pulled A Gun On You, you, my friend, have some major fart skills, and maybe the key to my heart. One, I love a man who’s confident enough in his bodily functions to let one rip whenever he feels like it. And two, I’m impressed that you used your farts as a weapon against apartment building neighbor Daniel Collins, with whom you’ve had a longstanding feud over noise. Your loud emissions so incensed Collins that he pulled out a shotgun and threatened to shoot you dead for the offending flatulence.

No matter, Collins was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, unlawful possession of a firearm and making terroristic threats, so it seems that you, me and your farts will be safe for now. [NY Daily News]