Dating Don’ts: 7 Ways You Can Blow It The Morning After

Dear guys and gals. Sometimes we get so focused on the night of our date that we forget about the morning after. Don’t do that. Yes, it’s still important to make sure that your date goes well enough to hit a home run, but don’t start celebrating until you’ve successfully crossed home base … waking up next to that person in broad daylight. I think of this moment as the true test of how well the date went. The worst, very worst, thing to feel in that moment is that you’ve made a grave mistake. That the charming, kind and sexy man who wooed and wowed the previous evening no longer exists. In his place is this naked, grunting cretin who makes you feel nothing more than the urge to wash your sheets. After the jump, a few things to keep in mind the morning after. That is, if you hope for a repeat performance.

1. Your bad mood. Not all of us are morning people. I get that. I have chosen to be the kind of person who wakes up with a joke on my lips and a cuddle in my heart. I don’t expect the same from the rest of humanity. But for the love of God, shine it on if you’re spending the night with me. Bad morning moods are absolutely intolerable to those of us who employ a good morning mood policy. That means talking in complete sentences, answering questions as coherently as possible, a smile if you can manage it. If that’s not possible, SPOON dammit. If even that’s not possible, GO HOME or I’M LEAVING.

2. The morning foolery. Again, I know the world isn’t all on the same page about morning business. That’s fine. But whether you are on Team Morning Sex or not, you must at least demonstrate some physical attraction in the morning. Even if you’re tired or not in the mood. I don’t think I need to tell you how this is done. Do I? Touching, kissing, laughing and compliments achieve the desired effect. You want the other person to know that you are just as into them this morning as you were last night after the second glass of wine. Unless you aren’t. In which case, GO HOME or I’M LEAVING.

3. Coffee and/or breakfast. It is unwritten law (well, now it’s written) that you shall offer coffee and/or breakfast to your overnight guest. If you don’t have any to offer, you shall walk with or drive that person to the nearest establishment which serves coffee and/or breakfast. If the person declines, their loss. But ne’er shall you have it on your conscience that you did not make caffeine or sustenance available the morning after.

4. The tooth brush/shower situation. It is also required to offer your guest the following options when they awake: 1) Something to take away their morning breath. That could be a new toothbrush if you’re really on your game. If you’re down with germ sharing it could be your toothbrush. Last resort, their finger and some of your toothpaste. I take this especially seriously since dental hygiene is of the utmost importance to me. 2) A shower with or without you in it. Guests’ choice. Some people don’t like co-showering or showering at someone else’s house, but at least you offered. 3) A clean towel. To wipe face and/or body after brushing/face washing/showering.

5. Poor guest etiquette. My mother taught me that you always clean up after yourself when staying at someone else’s house. This may mean making the bed, or attempting to make the bed, taking your coffee cup to the sink and rinsing, hanging up your wet towel and collecting all of your belongings. This is just good manners. And good manners will get you far.

6. The goodbye. DO NOT bungle the goodbye. This is actually more important than you think. It sends a message to other person. You may be late for work, but don’t forget the goodbye kiss. The genuine thank you. If you’re on your A game, the agreement about when you’ll speak or see each other again. I’m not sure if men care about this, but women do. Only if it’s genuine, of course. But these moments build trust. And trust is what gets you invited to spend the night more regularly.

7. The acknowledgement of a good time later that day. Bonus round! I find it to be particularly impressive to get a text or an email later that day to say what a good time last night was. Again, only if it’s sincere. This is really kind and considerate. It also shows how you feel (if you’re feel in’ it) and conveys to that person that you are thinking about them.

Did I miss anything? Got any to add? Share in the comments so we can all have better morning afters!