This past weekend, I was driving from Chicago to Wisconsin for a friend’s wedding when I spotted a billboard – admittedly advertising some sort of Christian cause – that said, “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.”
“Fair enough,” I thought, as the night before I’d had one of those hyper-realistic dreams in which I was I engaged to Don Draper in season one of “Mad Men” (back when he almost ran away with that hot Jewess). Oh, what a world! To be wed to Jon Hamm in lieu of driving a Chevy rental to a wedding with a cash bar!
This got me thinking that although Don Draper was admittedly out of reach as future sex partner, there was nothing at all wrong in dreaming about it, aspiring toward it. And seeing as how I was out there on the open road with nothing better to do then listen to fuzzy radio stations and/or “The Help” on tape, I opted to build up a list of other sexually desirable characters, more attainable than Don, from film and TV. Why? Because every woman’s vagina wants to have sex with Don. My desires must be more original than that. And because, as I said, I was bored. And because in this godforsaken life we all need some bit of delusional hoo-ha to Calgon-take-us-away. Click through to see more fictional men I am more than happy to fantasize about.