Hi, welcome to Camp Lady Gaga Is Boring And Pretentious, population 1 and it’s me. I recognize that I am all but vastly, utterly alone in thinking that this “Lady Gaga” character is one of the most stale, uninteresting “personalities” to have ever made her mark on pop culture. David Bowie, Grace Jones, Madonna Ciccone for Christ’s sake — they did it first, and better. It’s not her image I take issue with, it’s the severe, and I think unmistakable, dichotomy between her mask and her music. She’s so avant-garde! She has a lobster on her head! She’s in a meat dress! She’s in an egg! It’s like the womb! Edgy! Individual! Born this way! Lazy, insufferable ra-ra-ra bubblegum pop cribbed from “Express Yourself,” tossed into the mass media music machine! She’s making a perfume called “Fame” that will be a black liquid with “the feeling and sense” of blood and semen and a bottle heavily “inspired by” Thierry Mugler’s Alien. She snagged the upcoming cover of this year’s Vogue September issue. Tell me why, you guys! When is this person going to do something that’s real and unique? I’m not going to hold my breath, but can we please move past Stefani Germanotta? Bring me the next Britney! Whatever happened to the punk rock pop stars?
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