The other day, yet another girl I know was telling me why her legs are ugly. Why they’re getting uglier by the minute. And why she definitely can’t wear shorts this summer. I’ve heard women say they can’t show their legs because they work out too much and their legs are too muscular and I’ve heard women say that they can’t show their legs because they never work out and their legs are too soft. It’s kind of amazing how many women don’t want people to see their legs. I’m one of them. Mine are short. It’s my dad’s fault. But it’s gonna be summer soon, and wearing pants is the worst. Here’s why you should uncover and flash some people. With your legs, I mean.
1. Legs are great! They’re naturally strong. They’re very purposeful. They have knees. Knees are always cute in an awkward way, no matter whose knees they are. But back to legs: you can fold them up or stretch them out. You can move them fast or slow. They are totally practical at every moment. Even when you’re lying down they balance you out. Right now I sound like I’m either a five-year-old or really high. But sometimes five-year-olds and people who are really high can point out the stuff the rest of us are missing. The basic stuff. Like how great legs are.
2. Less clothes is more comfortable! I’ve bought just about every kind of light, flowing pants imaginable, but nothing feels as good as having super naked legs. You can stretch out on the one spot of grass (I live in an industrial Brooklyn neighborhood, so grass is a luxury) in the park and feel the sun on your skin. There’s nothing quite like sun against skin. It’s the feeling of summer. Don’t miss out. And wear sunscreen.
But not too much because …
3. Tan legs are pretty. And you can’t get tan legs if you cover them up. But once you get them, you can look down at them all the time, and feel quietly satisfied.
4. Your body is proportionate. We learned as little girls to think of our bodies in terms of what might be going wrong. What might not be looking right. But even if you don’t have the measurements of a Victoria’s Secret model, your body still makes perfect sense. Your legs are not too short or too thick or too muscular or too chubby. They’re the right legs for your body. Do they get you places? Do they support your weight? Perfect. Let’s see ‘em!
5. Short shorts and little dresses are sexy. And they look great with big shoes. Winter is a terrible time for big shoes, because you could slip and break your neck. Summer is a good time for big shoes, because you can sit down on some luxurious grass and take them off if you need to. I like big shoes, but sometimes I have to take them off. I know, that’s some tight logic right there.
6. What are you gonna do when you’re at the beach?(Where I’m hoping you will be at least once this summer.) There are two basic options: A) feel even more awkward, because you’ve been trying to cover up all this time and this is the first time in a year anyone has seen your legs, including you. Or B) feel like it’s no big deal because you’ve been rockin’ some cute little dresses for a while now. Go with option B. Life is better over there.
7. No one is paying attention to the minor imperfections you’re worrying about. The dimples or the veins or the ingrown hair. Sort of the way they’re not paying attention to the stray pubic hair poking out of your bathing suit. If they are, they deserve what they see.
8. If you think your thighs are too big you have joined one of the largest clubs in the world. The My Thighs Are Too Big club. That’s it’s official title. I couldn’t make this stuff up, and if I did, I’d definitely come up with a better name. Practically every single woman I meet thinks her thighs are too big. Maybe if we all show them, it’ll be less of a big deal. I call for a National Thigh Showing Day! Who’s with me?
This summer, let’s enjoy looking the way we look, without toning and sculpting and dieting and making sure our clothes are exactly the right color. This is life. Chances are, your legs look better than you think they look. Chances are, that’s true about everything about you. And also, while I’m being a five-year-old: It’s warm out! Yay! Let’s run around with naked legs!