Living in Portland means I get invited to go hiking, like, every other day. I used to accept these invitations and trudge up various mountain trails with feigned enthusiasm. It wasn’t until last week that I finally decided to accept the fact that I spend much of my day-to-day life figuring out how to avoid walking up hills and therefore find no joy in hiking. Letting go of my faux love for this activity was surprisingly liberating, so I asked the rest of the Frisky staff about the random things they’ve stopped pretending to like. Check out our list after the jump, and please add your own in the comments!
1. Outdoor concerts and music festivals. Heat, crowds, porta-potties, sunburns, sweat, dust, weird smells, and lack of chairs. We can’t believe how many of these we attended before realizing they’re sort of terrible.
2. Couch surfing. As much as we’d love to be casual, low maintenance travelers, we really need our space.
3. Phone banking. In college we tried to be the best volunteer ever by pretending to like phone banking. In reality, cold calling people and talking from a script sucks.
4. Beer. We’d much rather have a cocktail.
5. The Classics. Let’s face it: the Brontes are a snooze.
6. Running. So awesome in theory, so painful and boring in practice.
7. Dating. Who are we kidding? Unless we’re dating someone we’re really, really crazy about, it feels disruptive to our lives.
8. Jazz music. Didn’t we all have a phase where we bobbed our head to Miles Davis records and pretended to “get it”? Yeah, not so much.
9. Drugstore lipsticks. We’ve tried all of them; unfortunately nothing compares to those damn designer brands.
10. Partying on the weekend. Being in your 30s entitles you to admit that you’d like to be in bed by midnight on Saturday night.
11. Generally, going out. Bar hopping and clubbing gets real old, real fast. We’d rather do dinner or a party at a friend’s house.
12. Nail art. People can do amazing things with that tiny brush; too bad 99.9 percent of nail art is tacky.
13. Vegan food. We’re all for healthy eating, but fake meat and fake cheese are gross.
14. Getting fingered. Four times out of five, men think they’re a lot better at this than they actually are. We’ve stopped pretending to enjoy it.
15. Our boyfriends’ dumb friends. We tried so hard to like them, but we can only feign interest in skateboarding and video games for so long.