Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Took His Zebra (And Parrot) To The Bar

Earlier this week, Iowa man Jerald Reiter was arrested with a zebra and a parrot in his car. But that’s not what got him busted. No, it seems Reiter was arrested for driving under the influence and was put in handcuffs in the parking lot of the (wait for it) Dog House Bar.

Here’s why I love Jerald. He says his zebra and his parrot were there because they like going for rides. You know, as zebras and parrots do. He and girlfriend (bummer) Vickey Teters say the two animals are like the couple’s babies, and they go everywhere together. Jerald says he knew he was too drunk to drive and was in the process of scooching over to the passenger seat when the police showed up. A likely story.

So many questions for Jerald. Like, how’d he procure a zebra? Where does the zebra sleep? Can he hook me up with one? Let’s work it out guy! [Neatorama]