Is it a date or an interview for a lifetime together? Here are six ways to tell.
1. He/she asks you where you see yourself in 5, 10, and 20 years. …before bothering to ask about where you’re from or what your hobbies are. If your date starts firing away suggestions like a career counselor and pulling up recent salary reports on their iPad, start scanning the room for the nearest exit.
2. By the end of the date, you feel like you know very little about them. But you know a ton about their friends who are married, engaged, engaged to be engaged, or going through reproductive challenges.
3. They focus more on the the past and future, not the present. He/she has no idea what you do for a living, but you feel like you came out of a Freudian-style therapy session by the end of dinner and a movie. Ruh-roh: your date may be gauging whether your baggage and goals are compatible with theirs. But hey, awesome breakthrough about your mother.
4. He/she asks about your parents’ marriage during the first round of drinks. Extra points if your date has you dissecting the real reasons behind their divorce by the end of the night.
5. They ask about the status of your debt and student loans. They’re either trying to figure out how responsible you are or they’re asking because they wants to be your sugar daddy/momma and pay ‘em off for you. Fingers crossed! (Though if they start having you fill out life insurance forms, run and make sure all of your major organs are still inside your body.)
6. He/she grills you about the length of all of your past relationships. It’s one thing to briefly ask how long your last relationship. It’s another to ask you to work your way back to your summer camp crush in 4th grade. And then to ask you, “So what went wrong? Why couldn’t you commit?”
Diana Vilibert is a writer living in Brooklyn. She posts pictures of her cat here.
This piece was originally published on How About We’s blog The Date Report.