Sadly, some of our most memorable sexual experiences are the ones we associate with total and utter chagrin. You never forget when a sexual experience is interrupted mid-hump by, say, your boyfriend’s dad, an unsuspecting cabana boy or a dream about chili. Yes. Chili. Frisky staffers have offered up their anonymous tales for your reading pleasure. We’re hoping you’ll share your embarrassing coitus interruptus anecdotes in the comments.
“My boyfriend and I snuck into this really fancy resort (we weren’t staying) at to swim in their giant pool. After swimming we went into a cabana storage tent to change and ended up having sex on a stack of extra lounge chairs. In the middle, some kids busted in looking for towels and screamed. A cabana boy opened the flap to the tent to see what all the commotion was. We were promptly asked to leave.”
“One time I talked my boyfriend into having sex with me when he was really tired and he fell asleep partway through but I was on top so I didn’t notice until he murmured, ‘What kind of meat should we put in the chili?’ and I realized he was having a dream. About making chili. While we were having sex. Fuck my life.”
“In high school, my boyfriend and I used to make out on the couch in his TV room with the door shut. This one time we were drying humping when his dad walked right through the door without knocking. I was so mortified that I overreacted by leaping off the couch with my pants unzipped. When I realized that, I sort of turned around and zipped them up and then turned back to face his dad. My boyfriend gave me this weird look, like ‘WHAT ARE YOU DOING?’ and his dad just calmly ignored everything and chatted with his son. But I still think the dad interrupted us on purpose.”
“I was giving a blow job in the back of a car behind a bar when my friends came outside looking for me. The dude was sitting in the backseat and I was kneeling in front of him, so my feet were underneath the driver’s seat. When I saw my friends coming, I tried to get up but I was stuck. They were peering in the window just as the dude came. In my hair.”
“In high school my boyfriend and I were fooling around on his living room couch when his mom came home early from work. I ran upstairs without pants on and hid in the closet until he could find an opportunity to subtly (yeah right) deliver my jeans to me.”
“My boyfriend was hosting a party at his place in a few hours, so his phone was ringing off the hook. I had been waiting all afternoon to have sex with him, and we were squeezing in a session before the party. Once we got going one of his stupid dude friends kept calling over and over and over again Like 20 times in a row. I was so annoyed I just told him to answer it. His friend had a very urgent question about what kind of beer we would have. Lame.”