12 Things We Don’t Understand About “Tanning Mom”

We can’t hide it. We won’t deny it. We are fascinated, strangely fascinated, with Tanning Mom, the New Jersey mother who was arrested for child endangerment for allegedly taking her her five-year-old to the tanning salon. We frankly aren’t sure if she suffers from body dysmorphia of some sort (likely) or she’s just an elaborate ruse a la fellow tanning aficianado Courtney Stodden.
But either way, Patricia Krentcil leaves us with a lot of questions.
We need to know:
  1. How exactly did she go from “Pauly D” to “blackface” so quickly? We suspect copious amounts of self-tanner sprayed directly onto the face, but we aren’t sure.
  2. What is her natural skin tone? Did she once look like her adorable, fair-skinned, redheaded daughter?
  3. Why does she do the tattooed lip liner as well? Isn’t that a lot of look?
  4. Where does her tanning money comes from?
  5. And all her time for tanning? Like, how does she manage to get the “G” and “L” part of GTL done?
  6. Is this woman MARRIED?!?! What is the husband’s deal?!
  7. Has anyone at the tanning salon ever told her “Nah, you’re good”?
  8. Does she moisturize?
  9. Can she sweat?
  10. Does she ever use those tanning stickers of the dolphins that tell you have far your tan has come?
  11. Who is her tan-spiration? Who does she have on her vision board?
  12. Does she know Octomom?

Get well soon, Tanning Mom.

[Daily Mail UK]