It’s not that I have a thing, as it were, for little people. And, God, is that really the politically correct term? Are we serious about this? It’s not that I have some sort of fetish or something. But Peter Dinklage is hot. And I said it long before he was pn “Game of Thrones.”
I said it when I saw “The Station Agent,” back in the day, before college, even, when I went to see the flick with my lame boyfriend, and Peter Dinklage was so much hotter than him. And had so much more gravitas. And so much more charisma. And such a look of gentle weariness in his noble, manly eyes.
So when he showed up again, in “Game of Thrones,” I was willing to watch, despite all the casual rape and beheading and ripping out of throats and other body parts that no one should ever rip out.
He’s still hot. He’s commanding and funny and subtle. He’s clearly a great actor. But when I say hot, I mean hot. Physically. He’s a seriously good looking guy. And I get the sense that I am probably not supposed to think that, because women are talking about how Peeta is shorter than Katniss in “The Hunger Games,” and that’s so weird and unappealing. And he’s like, a half of an inch shorter than her.
I have friends who won’t date a guy unless he’s over 6’2”. And friends who go on a first date with a guy and then won’t go on another because he’s an inch shorter than them. Or only an inch taller than them. Even though he is awesome, otherwise.
I am not saying that these friends are bad people. Attraction is attraction. You can’t help it. And if you’re not into the way someone looks, it’s probably better to find someone else than to fake it. Not probably. Definitely.
I once dated a really tall guy. I remember his neck very clearly. Not his face, as much. I have definitely dismissed guys for silly, superficial, yet important-feeling reasons. In general, I stand up for the guys my friends dismiss based on height requirements, or other requirements that seem a little harsh. But that doesn’t mean I understand why I think Peter Dinklage is hot. So here I am, wondering if maybe this is some sort of statement. Maybe this says something important about me. Maybe there’s some profound secret of my psyche that is being revealed here.
I mean, Peter Dinklage looks different from the way that hot men are supposed to look. So I am different for thinking he’s hot. He stands out in a way that might make people uncomfortable. In a way that goes against some pretty strict rules about masculinity. And maybe that’s part of why he’s hot to me. Because I know exactly what kind of guy I’m supposed to be into, and sometimes I can’t tell them apart because it’s a matter of how much gel is in this one’s hair as opposed to how tan this other one is. They look like boys who have never had to deal with anything. Not even, like, the death of a family dog. They are untouched, pristine. They are flawless.
Peter Dinklage is not flawless.
And maybe I’m a little tired of attractiveness having to always be about flawlessness. About the most normal of the normal. Like when they do those studies where they ask guys to pick the most attractive face out of a stack of photos and they always pick the one that is the computer generated average of all the other faces. The most symmetrical and bland. Sometimes I wish someone would pick the girl with the bump on her nose and the flashing, but slightly uneven eyes. Sometimes I wish they would pick a girl who looks a little more like me. Or at least someone unusual.
Maybe I am open-minded.
I was thinking about all this for a while, as I watched Tyrion (Peter’s character in “Game of Thrones”) crack a quick-witted and wry joke as he walked down a muddy road in a worn leather breastplate of the medieval variety. I thought about it, and then I decide that it was total crap.
I’m not deep and fascinating and open-minded for thinking Peter Dinklage is hot. I have not been liberated from the binds of superficiality and judgmentalness. I haven’t made a profound statement or philosophically distinguished myself from the masses or managed to believe that, truly, everyone is beautiful at exactly the same level, if only we look at the them the right way. No. Objectively, unthinkingly, automatically, I think Peter Dinklage is hot. And then I make up the rest of it to try to explain.
Would it be so weird if Peter Dinklage was just hot? Just because he is?
I think I’m just going to let him go ahead and be hot. And not analyze it anymore. And keep watching this damn show, where someone’s throat is always about to be ripped out, and get turned on every time Peter Dinklage wears a leather breastplate.