Be My Boyfriend: Finance Dude Who Tracks His Dates On A Spreadsheet

Some women may look at Dave, the finance dude who emailed his date a spreadsheet he keeps of all the women he’s been dating, with notes, and think, Ugh. What a pig!

But me? I see a man with an attention to detail. Details like “looks really pretty” and “mixed bag of pictures but great bod.”

Conjecturing based on the email exchange, which was subsequently forwarded around the Internet (and inevitably reached bloggers like moi), Dave keeps a spreadsheet of the various women he is juggling. handles, emails, phone numbers, and screennames helps this playa keep all his women apart — there’s a good dozen on the list. For some Godforsaken reason, Dave thought it would be a good idea to email this spreadsheet to one of the girls.

Well…this could be a mistake, but what the hell.  I thought about deleting the names, but figured I might as will give you the whole thing.  I only deleted the non-match people’s names (at the bottom) since some I’ve known for a long time.  I hope this e-mail doesn’t backfire, because I really had a great time and hope to hang again soon :).  However, I will keep my word!  Have a great weekend!

- Dave 

Naturally, the girl forwarded it onward:

Hi Girls,

Wanted to pass this on to you for some Monday morning entertainment.

I went on a date with this guy last wednesday. On the date, he tells me that he has a spreadsheet for tracking all of the people from match that are “in process”. Naturally, I tease him and ask him to send me the spreadsheet. For some strange reason, he actually does. See below/attached.

Just when I thought I had seen it all….




Now, he may not be especially bright. And he did call one girl “Jappy” in his notes. But let’s look at the positives here!

He is consistent: he only dates girls between the ages of 25 and 28. They’re all “pretty” or “beautiful,” or have “a nice bod.” If some of her pictures online are not so pretty, well, he’s a gentleman about it —those get called “mixed bag of pictures.” He brings ladies to somewhat chichi and expensive locations around New York City, places like Rose Bar in the Gramercy Park Hotel, MercBar and the Ace Hotel. He wants to preserve the memories of their conquests, so he takes pains to note romantic details like “drunkenly hooked up after Jason’s birthday party.” And he’s got priorities: All the women are divided into the categories of “monitor closely” or “monitor casually.”

Stop complaining that men aren’t romantic and pay no attention to detail. Some of them do. And they are detailing it all in a spreadsheet.

Contact the author of this post at [email protected] Follow me on Twitter at @JessicaWakeman.