You’re The Worst: Jessi Arrington Uses Kickstarter To Throw Herself A Digustingly Twee Birthday Party

Hey, you know what? Kickstarter is super cool and great for stuff like supporting grassroots projects, films and businesses. You know what it’s not for? THROWING YOURSELF A GODDAMN BIRTHDAY PARTY. But yet! That’s exactly what some crapster named Jessi Arrington is manipulating Kickstarter for. She wants to throw “the world’s largest rainbow parade” (these are the goals our helicopter parents dreamed we would shoot for, guys), which basically involves party goers dressing up in monochromatic clothing of different colors and uh, you know, lining up like a freaking rainbow.

So, you’re probably asking yourself, What will the Kickstarter money go towards? Well, as if Jessi Arrington wasn’t annoying enough on her own (watch the Kickstarter video to get a small glimpse into just how fricking twee-precious she is) she wants her own marching band. But she doesn’t want to, like, pay for it like most people would for their own birthday parties. So that’s where Kickstarter comes in.

God, of all the useless, stupid and annoying things. I am not against joy, people. I am against forced, contrived joy you have to pay for. And plus, this just seems like a bastardization of the very purpose of Kickstarter, which is to support creative and emerging artists and projects — not birthday parties. And also, ugh you’re the worst, Jessi Arrington. [Kickstarter]