Bristol Palin’s “Trial Marriage” & Other Sinful Activities Renamed By The Palins
What the rest of us call “cohabitation,” or in some circles “living in sin,” the Palin family calls a “trial marriage.”
That’s exactly what abstinence-promoter Bristol Palin and her boyfriend, 21-year-old Gino Paoletti, are doing in a home she purchased in Wasilla. “Bristol and Gino are crazy about each other,” a source told The National Enquirer. “They’ve talked about getting married, but they think it’s a good idea to get a feel for living together before making it official.” They’ll be sleeping in separate bedrooms, I trust?
Gino and Bristol’s “trial marriage” will apparently be an element of her upcoming Lifetime reality show, “Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp.” In past interviews, Bristol has referred to her beau as “a good guy, a family guy and a Christian.” High praise for a guy whose Facebook page has allegedly been scrubbed clean of references to “n***ers” and “idiots of Alaska,” which is what he called the Palin fam.
We’ll have to wait until “Life’s A Tripp” airs for a peek into whether the “trail marriage” in their home — paid for by Bristol’s rounds on the abstinence-preaching circuit ($262K in 2009 from the Candie’s Foundation, in fact) — will work out. In the meantime, this Gino character had better brush up on Palin-doublespeak and hypocrisy … before he’s forced to speak to the press about another angel surprise.
- Premarital sex: very heavy petting
- Birth control: anal sex
- Pregnancy out of wedlock: angel surprise
- S&M: bad girl aerobics
- Pornos: educational videos
- Marijuana: oregano plus
- Facials: invisible babies rejuvenating mask
- Fingering: transvaginal probing
- Blowjobs: practice for wedding night
- Swallowing: taking the sacrament
- Girl-on-girl kissing: flirting with boys
- Cunnilingus: beaver hunting