Bristol Palin’s “Trial Marriage” & Other Sinful Activities Renamed By The Palins

What the rest of us call “cohabitation,” or in some circles “living in sin,” the Palin family calls a “trial marriage.”

That’s exactly what abstinence-promoter Bristol Palin and her boyfriend, 21-year-old Gino Paoletti, are doing in a home she purchased in Wasilla. “Bristol and Gino are crazy about each other,” a source told The National Enquirer. “They’ve talked about getting married, but they think it’s a good idea to get a feel for living together before making it official.” They’ll be sleeping in separate bedrooms, I trust?  

Gino and Bristol’s “trial marriage” will apparently be an element of her upcoming Lifetime reality show, “Bristol Palin: Life’s A Tripp.”  In past interviews, Bristol has referred to her beau as “a good guy, a family guy and a Christian.” High praise for a guy whose Facebook page has allegedly been scrubbed clean of references to “n***ers” and “idiots of Alaska,” which is what he called the Palin fam.

We’ll have to wait until “Life’s A Tripp” airs for a peek into whether the “trail marriage” in their home — paid for by Bristol’s rounds on the abstinence-preaching circuit ($262K in 2009 from the Candie’s Foundation, in fact) — will work out.  In the meantime, this Gino character had better brush up on Palin-doublespeak and hypocrisy … before he’s forced to speak to the press about another angel surprise.

  • Premarital sex: very heavy petting
  • Birth control: anal sex
  • Pregnancy out of wedlock: angel surprise
  • S&M: bad girl aerobics
  • Pornos: educational videos
  • Marijuana: oregano plus
  • Facials: invisible babies rejuvenating mask
  • Fingering: transvaginal probing
  • Blowjobs: practice for wedding night
  • Swallowing: taking the sacrament
  • Girl-on-girl kissing: flirting with boys
  • Cunnilingus: beaver hunting
What other Palin-ian doublespeak can you come up with? Let us know in the comments!

[Daily Mail UK]
[US Weekly]

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