Ryan Gosling Returns To NYC, Saves Pedestrian’s Life, Leads My Libido Out Of Hibernation

Yawwwwwwwwwwwwwn. Oh man. Sorry folks. I must apologize on behalf of my vagina for its rudeness. Normally my ladyflower has better manners. See, it has just woken up from a very, very long nap and is a bit out of sorts. What has jolted my kitty from its slumber? Oh, RYAN GOSLING IS BACK IN NEW YORK CITY.

And, as I and my vagina should have assumed, he has been busy saving lives.

So, apparently yesterday, a British writer by the name of Laurie Penny — who I am obviously already following and inundating with questions on Twitter — was meandering across busy 6th Ave., and looked the wrong way to check for traffic. Which is to say she looked right because she is from England and they are ass-backwards across the pond. Luckily for her, she was not run over by oncoming traffic in the other direction, thanks to a gentleman NAMED RYAN GOSLING, who grabbed her and pulled her out of harm’s way. Afterwards, an onlooker confirmed that Laurie Penny’s knight in shining armor was indeed America’s sexiest superhero, remarking, “You lucky bitch.” (And she wasn’t talk about the fact that her life had been spared.)

Personally, I feel much safer knowing The Gos is back from Thailand (where he was filming a movie) and keeping watch over NYC. After all, this is not the first time Ryan has intervened in a life-threatening situation. Remember when those two guys got in a fight over a painting and Ryan had to pull them apart? Batman should take notes, I’m just saying.

It’s weird. I feel like a bear that has come out of hibernation. My skin tingles knowing that The Gos is in or around my same zip code. I hope I feel less out of sorts soon. You know, so that I don’t accidentally stumble into traffic somewhere along 6th Avenue… [NY Observer]