Dear Robert Wilkinson (aka drunk guy who sang “Bohemian Rhapsody” to a cop),
Hello. Nice to meet you. Queen is also my favorite band, although I prefer “Fat Bottomed Girls” or “Somebody to Love.” Sometimes when the world feels overwhelming and I don’t know what to do, I sing Queen. There’s something soothing about singing their songs aloud. They help put life in perspective. Speaking of “Somebody to Love” … I think you should drop me a line if you’re sober now. I’m not into drunks. Plus you live in Canada. I don’t know if serenading cops is a regular thing for you — I really hope not. But this happened back in November, so I’m assuming you’ve got your shit together by now. I should tell you, I really liked your message about “brotherhood of men on the planet earth.” I can tell you are a peaceful man at heart and that “physical violence is the least of [your] priorities.” I think we should go do some karaoke together. What say you?