10 Ways To Celebrate Celine Dion’s Birthday
Did you know that today’s a holiday? A holiday more important and sacred than Christmas and Halloween and Easter and National Corndog Day combined? It’s Celine Dion’s birthday! Wondering how to celebrate? Here are 10 ways to pay homage to the greatest singer and human being this world has ever known…
1. Wear sequins. Wear more sequins. Wear all the sequins.
2. Hit up a karaoke bar and sing “My Heart Will Go On.” Give it your all. By the climax you should be sweating and crying and there’s a good chance your bowels will evacuate. Don’t apologize. Hit that last note. Then throw the microphone on the floor and get the hell out of there.
3. Strike up a flirtation with a man 30 years older than you.
4. Marry him.
5. Carry around a fan with you all day and hold it out in front of you so your hair flows dramatically in the wind.
6. Every time you say the word “love,” pronounce it like this: “luuuurve.”
7. Wear your ankle-length Celine Dion nightgown in public.
8. Cue up The Essential Celine Dion on Spotify. That will give you a solid hour of Celine’s hits. Listen to it start to finish, then start it over. Repeat for the entire day.
9. Make weird faces at every opportunity.
10. Watch video proof that Celine Dion is amazing:
Happy birthday, Celine! We luuuuuuurrrrrve you!