Dear Man Who Propositioned Me For Sex On The Subway,
Why is it that after I respectfully responded “no, thanks” to your subway sex proposition, you found it necessary to call me a “bitch”? Have you not seen the movie “Shame”? Even an exceptionally fantastic looking guy like Michael Fassbender (who, might I add, was playing a sex addict) found it difficult to come on to a girl while riding the train because he feared rejection.
But you sir, wearing that hideous shirt, those skinny jeans which were obviously washed one time too many because they revealed your ankles, a pair of busted Converse, with a chip-toothed, yellow grin, thought that your offer to leave the train with you on 23rd street “to hang out at your house” should have been received with excitement.
I understand that living in a huge city like New York, where women outnumber men, may give you a false sense of self-importance. But didn’t you notice the fact that on this particular uptown A train, there were many young, sexy guys on their way home from what I imagine you only dream about — a job? After all, It was 5 o’clock p.m. I happened to be on my way home from a long allergy-filled work day, as well. I was trying to relax and listen to Janelle Monae before you decide to grace my presence. Your breath was offensive. Every time you spoke, I was forced to gasp for air in the other direction, before responding to your idiotic inquiries.
And still, I was the bitch? I suppose there may be some validity in your judgment of me. I did sneeze on the lady in front of me, without excusing myself, just a moment before you stepped onto the train. Perhaps your utter disregard of my personhood and disrespect of my senses served as my karmic retribution for what I did to her.
If that is the case, you did a mighty fine job restoring the subway train-riding karmic balance.
Contact the author of this post at Tiffanie@TheFrisky.com. But not to proposition her.
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