The Craziest Missed Connections Post Ever

We’ve read our fair share of weird missed connections — car accidents, “You were the drunk girl,” or “You’re a cocktail waitress at the Hustler Casino.” But, this one trumps all. Listed in Los Angeles’ “M4W” section and called “I grabbed your boobs on Sunset,” it tells the tale of a man who tripped, tried to grab onto something to find the nearest thing to be a girl’s boobs, and in the process he ripped off her shirt…

Saturday night, I was out with my buddies walking around on Sunset … As we neared each other, none of us made eye contact. It’s as though we were trying not to look at each other … I wasn’t looking where I was going either, and tripped on a crack in the pavement and tripped, falling forward, right as you were passing by. My arms flailed about and tried to grab the nearest sturdy thing to steady myself. That nearest thing ended up being your rack. Unfortunately, your breasts weren’t steady nor sturdy enough, so I kept falling. Along the way, your shirt and bra were torn off in the process. Your knockers, exposed to the night air, bounced with delight and glee.

Unsurprisingly, the girl went apeshit on the guy, beating him up, pepper spraying him, knocking him out … and, oh yeah, stealing his wallet? “I sincerely hope you read this message because I think we had a connection, you and I,” he concludes. “I want to see where this might lead. As long as it’s not the ICU again.” OK, so this story is seriously over the top. Fake? Possibly. But it’s pretty detailed. Either way, it’s hilarious. [Craigslist]