What Bonobo Monkeys Can Teach Us About Lesbian Action

Apparently, neglected drunk chicks in skimpy dresses at nightclubs aren’t the only ones willing to engage in lesbian action for attention. Bonobo monkeys do it too! In a recent study, scientists found that female apes use homosexual sex to gain attention and social status. Supposedly, female Bonobos use vocalizations during girl-only sex to “reduce stress and competition, develop affiliations, express and test social relationships and for reconciling conflicts and consoling victims in distress.”

And they aren’t afraid to kiss and tell! Matter-of-fact, they are extremely vocal about it. The loudest of the bunch tended to be apes of lower ranking who are selected by a higher status female to “do the deed”.  Researchers found that the peasant apes let the world know when they hooked up with cooler and more respected apes by squawking and blabbing (loudly) to the entire lady ape community. I guess the other female monkeys figure, “Well, Oooh-Oh-Ah-Ah … that ape must be pretty damn cool to be banged by the biggest of the bunch,” which increases the first ape’s status and allows her to climb the social ladder.

I have a theory: maybe the instinct to get drunk and exchange saliva with a another lady is deeply rooted in primitive behavior. Or, you know, maybe girl-on-girl action has just been glamorized by the media and therefore made culturally acceptable (if and only if done with the intention of entertaining  male onlookers). Well, whatever the reason, I am sure this is not the last we will hear of or see girl-on-girl monkey business. [LA Weekly]