An Open Letter To The Commercial (Feat. Corn Dog Girl)

Dear Education Commercial (feat. Corn Dog Girl) ,

How are you so bad, yet have managed to embed yourself so deeply in my consciousness? Sometimes I wake up singing you in the middle of the night. The only other commercial that’s ever affected me in this way was the IO Digital Cable campaign. I can still rap the number: 877-353-4448. I think I will go to my grave being able to rap the number. Jingles really stick with me, although they hardly ever encourage me to buy or use, which I believe is their intended purpose.

But you, commercial, I first saw you while watching “Jersey Shore.” Clever advertising placement, by the way! But if I’m being honest, I had no idea what you had to do with getting an education. I mean, I kind of got the one with Shannen Doherty. But not really. Is Shannen done being an actress? Or is she going to college to do research for a part? And why does her face look so strange? It doesn’t really look like she’s had work done. But there is something weird going on with her mouth, right?

I digress. But I still have so many important questions about you. Back to your star, Corn Dog Girl. Let me understand this: She goes from working at Hot Dog on a Stick to studying to be a what? A rock star? You don’t need to go to college for that. Also, is aware that musicians typically make less money than those in food service? Ostensibly, college has taught Corn Dog Girl to do a mean shoulder roll. To hold a microphone with confidence. To make a low budget music video. What will she do with these skills once she graduates? I wish I had asked myself these questions when I decided to major in acting in college. Once out in the “real world,” I eventually found my way. And I can only hope Corn Dog Girl will as well.

I look forward to your response. In the meantime, your jingle will stay stuck in my head.


Ami Angelowicz